Hi I'm Amber, the Person Behind All the Yarn
And yes, I alone keep Diet Coke in business & Speak Fluent F.R.I.E.N.D.S Quotes
Hey there, how are you? I’m glad you’re here, pull up a seat and let me tell you a little about myself.
I have been crocheting since I was 13 (man do I feel old!) and still have difficulty counting to twelve reliably. That’s not a joke about being bad at math (which I am) but a real thing that happens to me. Frequently. When you have a dog sitting directly on your project or your lungs, a documentary about Pompeii playing in the background and you’re four Diet Coke’s deep it’s hard to keep count of one’s stitches.
I mention all of that in hopes that you can relate to at least some of it. Because if you did, then you have found your people. I am here to tell you that I have frogged more rows than I’ve finished projects, I have deeply coded opinions about turning chains (they do not count as stitches Melissa!) and everything on this site is written by someone who is actively screwing up her project in the same way you think you’re screwing up yours. Right now. As you’re reading this.
He Thought He Knew What He Was Getting Into (SpoilerAlert: He Didn't)
Let me introduce you to the emotional support husband. We met online in 2004, back when admitting that at a party got you side eye and a question similar to “Is that really a good idea?” We then spent three years being long distance friends across eighteen hundred miles before we ever stood in the same room. (I was in Utah. He was in Nashville.) We got married in 2007 and have been going back and forth between the two ever since. Which is how I have ended up crocheting in a moving car more times than I can count (the yarn does not care that you are on I-40, it will still tangle, ask me how I know)
His official title around here is Head of Yarn Acquisition Denial, which means he confiscates my debit card whenever I leave the house because he knows I’ll be stopping at Michaels while I’m out and tries to prevent the inevitable. This also means he then watches me carry in two bags full of yarn two hours later, and sighs audibly. He also keeps the fridge stocked with Diet Coke, which is less a kindness and more a survival strategy for everyone in this house. He drives for Uber and plays bass, and he is hilarious and goofy and deeply spiritual and my favorite human on this earth. I still sit at his gigs and watch him play like I have never seen it happen before, even though I’ve seen it literally thousands of times.
They Live Here, Have Titles, But No One Hired Them. Meet the Staff.
Lulu
Lulu is Senior Loafing Specialist and no matter how hard we try to convince her, refuses to retire. She’s a ten year old Beagle Heeler mix, and is Gen X down to the bone. She also serves as snack compliance officer, a role she invented, and she just wants cheese. (And naps behind the sofa)
Her entire communication style is standing three feet away and staring into my soul with a look on her face that says she already told me twice and she expects me to comply. The terrible part is that it works every single time. Please, pay more attention next time, Mom.
Penny
Penny is Quality Control Project Specialist, which sounds official until you understand the methodology. She does not sit next to the project, but ontop of it.
She is our four year old Pittie, and she has decided that being more than arm’s length from me is an unacceptable risk. Wherever I am, is where she is, and it’s usually on top of whatever I’m making.
(She is also Her Highness and Madame Derp A Lot, depending on the hour and in charge of all incoming package inspections).
Why I Love What I Do (It's Not Just About the Yarn, Okay Mostly the Yarn)
So I’m going to get real for a minute and tell you some stuff about why I do this.
Crochet has a gatekeeping problem and it’s not subtle. Somewhere along the way it got decided there’s a right way to hold your hook, a right way to count, and a right way to ask a question. And if you can’t figure it out, or don’t instinctively know it, then you shouldn’t be crocheting. That’s hot garbage as far as I’m concerned. I have watched people apologize for not knowing what a magic ring is. Apologize. For not knowing a thing. The very thing they came to learn about. Ridiculous!
Because of that kind of energy you get everywhere else, I decided that everything I write is going to be in plain language, because “sc2tog in the BLO across” is not a sentence, it’s a license plate. I explain the thing before I use the shorthand for it, and sometimes I don’t even use the shorthand. I look at it like this, I assume you’re smart and new, not stupid. Those are two completely different problems and only one of them is real. So here is where you can show up with a wonky rectangle and I’ll tell you what happened without making you feel like an idiot for asking. What we will do is laugh about how it looks more like a Picasso painting than a washcloth, and then I’ll hand you a cookie and we’ll fix it.
I Love What Crochet Does for Mental Health
The other part of why I love doing this is what crochet does for your mental health. I have written extensively about that on the blog here and here. You’re welcome to go check them out. One is an article about the science that enforces that crochet is great for anxiety and depression, and the other is talking about the time I was going through a miscarriage and crochet was literally the only thing that pulled me through it.
There is No Middle Ground for Me
I love working with rainbow palettes and soft neutrals, and absolutely nothing in between. I am one end of the spectrum or the other, and I have never once looked at a skein of dusty sage and felt anything at all. It’s either every color I can get my hands on, all of them fighting for space in the same blanket, or it’s cream and oatmeal and the softest thing the store had. Blankets are my favorite thing to make, which is convenient because they’re also the thing that eats the most yarn, and that’s a problem for Eric and the debit card and not for me.
Now That You Met Me, Go Make Something Wonky
I would love for you to stick around. If you already know your way around a hook, the pattern library is right here and it’s full of things that will eat your weekend in the best way.
If you’re brand new, or you’ve picked this up and put it down four times since 2019, start over here in Learn to Crochet Area where nothing assumes you already know what a magic ring is.
Either way, grab a pattern, make the thing, and send me a picture of it even if it came out sideways. (Especially if it came out sideways!) Wonky edges are welcome here and I mean that literally, it’s printed on the banner at the top of this page.
